orgasmos

the thing is... when you learn a new language, you often lose your personality. at least in the beginning. you can-t say what you wanna say HOW you wanna say it.

humans have a great need to be understood. it-s easy to forget that until you plop yourself into another culture and another language and your hopes and dreams are reduced to 'i funny in english. one day i do standup-comedy'.

and it-s more than just having the vocabulary. it-s about having the expressions that we don-t realize we rely on to fully express what we-re feeling. adjectives are often flat and we need a richer form of expression. cause you can say 'i-m so mad right now', but what does that really mean? on the other hand if you say 'i-m about to go postal on your ass'. the recipient knows exactly where you-re at.

then of course, it-s about how you construct a sentence. the word order, the word selection and i-m not talking about grammar either. all that stuff that feels innate is totally lost.

it-s rough as shit. lots of shame and frustration involved, which is my specialty. anybody wanna trade?

but then something magical happens and you finally start to understand and communicate with a little more depth. and then when you start being able to slip in some of the local expressions, THAT is like double orgasm. you slowly start to get your personality back.

these days, i do really well one on one or even with 2 people, but groups still give me trouble. usually, i can follow, but i can-t think quickly enough to respond. that-s okay, i-m happy to wait for the double orgasm moments!