dating (carino)

latin lover. you think you want one. that is... until you get one. and then you are like 'what the fuck have i just done'. that-s what happened to me anyway.

at first it was awesome. i was showered with all kinds of physical and verbal affection. it was bliss. until... one day. all of a sudden. without warning. it started to freak me the fuck out.

it was too much. it was overwhelming. and stressful. that someone that barely knew me was so intense about me. i liked him and stuff, but it seemed like he was on this whole other page... in a whole other book. i felt like i was reading sweet valley high books while he was reading 'how to marry a gringa in less than a month'.

we were in the middle of a road trip when it hit me that i was overwhelmed. so i did the most obvious thing possible. i freaked out and announced that i wasn-t ready for a relationship.

[insert many awkward moments over the following days that i will not repeat in order to save some dignity].

when we got back and i had a chance to calm down, i splained that in my culture when someone acts like they like you alot... it-s scary and weird.

being liked is scary? wtf? yes, i get it. that sounds pathetic when you say it out loud. it-s just that americans are more conservative. we-re more subtle and reserved in communicating our feelings. we are not very direct. we rely alot more on verbal and nonverbal clues. i never even realized that until i got here. i will explain this in more detail in another post.

anyway, there is no right or wrong. it-s a matter of having patience and communicating. that-s not easy.

p.d. i had planned to include some commentary written by a friend, but then i did not have time to include it. maybe another time.